She was enchantingly beautiful. Her hair flowed gracefully down to right below, only have a change of heart and curled inward towards her heeps. Skin was muted, refreshingly green with undelying dark nerves. Always wore a hat that symbolise hope and remind us there's always something above us. Proudly standing 6 feet tall symmetrically, dress with classical bells, coated with colourful fur, and upholding the memories of my childhood, Kayden- My christmas tree was what christmas meant to me.
Ask different people and you'll get different answer. "What christmas is?" Ask a child and he'll tell you "endless video game without the nagging". She'll answer you "Presents!!". Ask a student or an employee, "Breaktime, holiday ofcause." Ask a food lover (peiyu), "turkey and lots and lots of food". Ask a lover (zing), a day to celebrate with her precious dear. And then, you ask me. "Chritmas tree".
It was our first christmas together. She came with genki as her companion to my little home a day before christmas eve. I was excited to see her, not sure how she felt. We exchange gift then even before dinner that night. Perhaps we started christmas then. Mine was armani's perfume. A delightful perfume of a kind. A perfume of my kind. Never really did thank her. Was too overwhelm with the feeling of happiness. It was my first perfume. I played it cool. Didn't really express my feeling. Wasn't the gift I feel like rejoicing though, "the thought that counts."
After dinner and some christmas shopping, we head home and started our little project - setting up Kayden. Me and my dad was exhausted after a day work. My dad went to bed early. I was resting too in the begining. My mom, drian and her started emptying Kayden's box and setting her up. Genki helped too. I only came out to help when Kayden was ready for lighting. She complimented me on fixing the light bulb and I jokingly told her it was in fact my major.We laught as if we heard the first joke on earth. When Kayden was finish. We all felt the sence of completeness. She was more happy than I was. Kayden was her first christmas tree thou. That moment was infact the moment I misses the most. That moment was Christmas to me. A feeling of togetherness, my family and her, as if one is different from another.I've been celebrating christmas all my life, this year we celebrate togther I thought I could educate her about this festive season. Surprisingly she's the one who really did taught me the meaning of Christmas. Christmas isn't christmas, til it happen in your heart. It did happen fairy talely in my heart then. There are no combination of words to describe the warmness we had. Perhaps there's one word to express after all... CHRISTMAS
Christmas passed, and so is that feeling. I say things I regret saying. She once told me, we all have to pay for what we said. And the penalty for me saying those word is terminal. For what it worth, I do not meant it. I do not regret once having you in my life, I do not regret bringing you to my family. I as well as my family love you. I was insanely angry because I thought you ignore me the whole day because you're heading to seremban to look for me. I thought wrong. You were deciding to leave me. You decided.
You did not made me hate christmas. You gave the meaning to christmas. You are my christmas. I do miss you my love, my Christmas.
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