zao yi dian shui

words better left unspoken

Fuck life.

人为设么要吃东西呢？

goodbyes..

我真的不喜欢这样的感觉。。

Unwritten Letter

Dear Chloe,

Surprise that I finally review your name here huh? Even to my surprise i'd decided to call you that. I'd been struggling how do I address you. Do you know that it's says alot about a relationship the way one address the other? I was going for jia hui, or 佳慧 which defines a more intimate feel? And again, I remember Quae Carcajou's story. Every night, he looks up in the sky see the moon, crying out her name, but she could not hear him again. No matter what I call you, no matter how do I address you, you could not hear me anymore.

You were wearing a grey sweater, holding a white bag pushing your luggage through the arrival terminal. He embrace you with open arms. And you hug him. You told him you were tired. He held on to your bag and help you with your luggage. In the mist of all that, when no one was looking, you smiled. You were happy. That is how I picture how I saw you from the far corner table in Chang Gi airport's starbucks nurturing a cup of vanilla latte. I dont know what I wish to accomplish waiting for that to happen for 4 hours. 4 hours I'd waited. I think all I wanted to see is you being happy. All I wanted to see is him treating the way you deserve. All I wanted to see is you...

I refuse to believe we are over, at lease until today. All this while I hope you weren't that strong, all this while i hope, that you give in and called me. Then again, why would you? This evening, as I jog I saw you. Of all the car passed by, I saw yours and I saw you. You were coming at my direction and you stopped at the traffic light. I turn and run towards you. There's a distance there, but I ran as hard as I could as fast as I could, the light turn green and you left. I continue running, believing nothing is impossible as long as I'd tried my best. In the end you left. You'd really left.

I once told you there's no one on earth could not survive without the existence of the other. I do believe in that. And without a doubt I certainly can live without you. The thing is, I'm not sure I want to. I know you have to but I dont want you to chose the life you chosen. I dont want you to chose a life without me. But I guess, if I love you, I should let you move on....

With Love,

Daniel